FROM: NEPTUNUS REX, RULER OF THE RAGING MAIN
TO: CO, USS TOPEKA
IA: COMSTA, RAGING MAIN
INFO: COMEQUATORIALFRONTIER

INTELLIGENCE DATA FROM FLYING FISH SQUADRON DELIVERED BY ROYAL PORPOISE MESSENGERS INDICATES DISTURBED WATERS NORTH OF THE REALM RESULTING IN RIOTOUS AND CHAOTIC CONDITIONS AMONG MY LOYAL SUBJECTS OF THE DEEP X FURTHER REPORTS INDICATE THAT THE GOOD SHIP TOPEKA IS ATTEMPTING TO ENTER MY REALM BEARING A LOWLY CARGO OF LANDLUBBERS POSING AS SEAMEN X KNOW YE THEREFORE THAT TO ALL TRUSTY SHELLBACKS OF TOPEKA I AND MY COURT EXTEND A MOST HEARTY WELCOME, BUT TO ALL OTHER LANDLUBBERS, POLLYWOGS, SCURVY, SCUM AND SLIME, BEWARE! X THE TRADITION OF THE ANCIENT ORDER OF THE DEEP AND MY ROYAL PERSON WILL BE AFFRONTED BY YOUR PASSAGE LEST PROPER PREPARATIONS ARE MADE X ACCORDINGLY, MY AMBASSADOR AT LARGE, DAVY JONES, WITH PEGLEG AND SEVERAL CRONIES, WILL BOARD YOUR SHIP 291600R WITH INSTRUCTIONS, SUMMONSES, AND SUBPOENAS, AS BEFITTING X NEPTUNUS REX.

FROM: CO, USS TOPEKA
TO: NEPTUNUS REX, RULER OF THE RAGING MAIN
VIA: COMSTA, RAGING MAIN
INFO: COMEQUATORIALFRONTIER

YOUR 290700R GREETINGS TO HIS ROYAL HIGHNESS FROM F. L. PINNEY, JR. X I CAN CONFIRM THAT TOPEKA HAS SET COURSE FOR YOUR DOMAIN AND THAT SHE IS BURDENED WITH MANY VILE POLLYWOGS X AS THE SENIOR TRUSTY SHELLBACK ABOARD I TOO CANNOT TOLERATE THIS SITUATION BUT WITH YOUR PERMISSION WILL PRESENT THESE UNSPEAKABLE POLLYWOGS TO YOUR ILLUSTRIOUS PERSON AND PAY DUE HOMAGE TO YOUR ROYAL COURT X WE WOULD BE MOST PLEASED IF YOU WOULD HONOR US WITH A VISIT ON BOARD 300800R WHEN WE SHALL RENDER ALL HONORS APPROPRIATE TO YOUR ROYAL PERSON X

F. L. PINNEY, JR., CAPTAIN
U.S. NAVY COMMANDING