18 JULY 196Q 

FROM: SENIOR POLLYWOG, USS TOPEKA CLG 8
TO: SENIOR SHELLBACK, AND COMMANDING OFFICER, USS TOPEKA CLG 8
SUBJ: POLLYWOG MORALE

1. IT IS MY PLEASANT TASK TO REPORT TO YOU HEREWITH THAT MORALE OF THE POLLYWOGS ABOARD THIS SHIP IS EXCELLENT IN EAGER ANTICIPATION OF THE VISIT ABOARD OF KING NEPTUNE AND HIS COURT UPON THE CROSSING OF THE EQUATOR.
 
2. THE EXUBERANCE OF THE POLLYWOGS IS BECOMING SO GREAT, IN FACT, THAT YOU SHOULD NOT BE SURPRISED IF THEIR HIGH MORALE EXPRESSES ITSELF IN JOYOUS ACTS OF
GRATITUDE SHOWERED UPON THEIR SHELLBACK SHIPMATES WHO HAVE GRACIOUSLY ARRANGED FOR THE VISIT OF KING NEPTUNE FOR THE BENEFIT OF THE POLLYWOGS.
3. THE OTHER SENIOR POLLYWOGS HAVE INDUSTRIOUSLY AND DEDICATEDLY ASSISTED ME IN TRYING TO CONTAIN AND REDUCE THIS EXUBERANCE DESCRIBED IN THE FOREGOING PARAGRAPH, BUT WE FEAR THAT OUR EFFORTS HAVE BEEN IN VAIN. THE RANK AND FILE OF POLLYWOGS INSIST ON DEMONSTRATING THEIR GOOD WILL AND AFFECTION FOR ALL THE SHELLBACKS AS WELL AS NEPTUNE AND HIS RETINUE.
 
4. IT IS DIFFICULT TO ANTICIPATE THE TIMING OF THESE SPONTANEOUS AND FRIENDLY OUTBURSTS IN WHICH I AM SURE THE POLLYWOGS WILL INDULGE. SUFFICE IT TO SAY THAT THEY COULD OCCUR ANYTIME, BEFORE, DURING, AND AFTER THE KING HONORS US WITH HIS ROYAL PRESENCE.

E. W. PIPH