THE EVENING before the crossing, His Highness dispatched Davy Jones, the Royal Scribe to His Royal Highness Neptune Rex, Ruler of the Raging Main and of the Mystic Deep, to deliver to the Captain the following message:

Attention, TOPEKA Ship's Company:

Be it known that I, Neptune Rex, Supreme Ruler of all mermaids, sharks, squids, whales, crabs, pollywogs, all denizens of the deep and all living creatures of the sea, will, with my Royal Court, come aboard the USS TOPEKA at 0800, Saturday, 30 July 1960, to examine into the charges preferred against all Pollywogs in that ship, to hear their defense on these charges, each one with mercy towards none, to examine into the fitness of each and every Pollywog to be received into the Royal Order of Shellbacks, and to bestow such membership upon each who survives the ordeal and torture of the Royal Initiation.